Tuesday, May 13, 2008

we're fated to pretend.

Some days I feel incredibly enlightened. Others, not so much. But I try to stay grateful for so many amazing aspects of my life. I am in an incredibly privileged position, with my education and living costs being paid for, an incredible boyfriend [and cats!] as well as all the fantastic friends and people I have met who have impacted me in some way that has broadened my perspective.
But other days I reflect upon what my family has become. We are glass shards spread thin across the earth's crust, and some of us our beginning to crack. For the past year we seem to be working through a cycle. It goes: Bad, worse, better. Repeat.
Today, for the first time ever I had a serious flash urge to jump into the metro tracks. All I could hear was my dad's warning that the metro would suck me in if I stood too close.
And I wanted it to. But just for a moment.
I look forward to when the 'better' part of the cycle arrives.

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