Childhood Memories...

"No painting can exist without the tension of what it figures and what it concretely consists of. The pleasure of what it could mean and the pain of what it's not." - Marlene Dumas.

I'm going through an awkward phase with painting. I'm trying to revisit scenes from my past by way of a different perspective, with a different connotation. I am trying to examine the idea of the Other. I just... never feel as though I push my works as far as they have the potential to go. I am afraid and yet yearn for...something I can't even find the words for yet. My paintings are definitely going through a change, though, and change is always welcomed.

p.s. The weather outside kind of sucks. Snow? Rain? Snain, Raiow?

Nature

This is: My favorite thing from nature.

Ok, so I am lying a bit here. There are many wonderful and stunning things in nature. I really enjoy vivid greens, though. I find that greens tend to pop more on gray rainy days when everything is saturated. Yesterday I saw the most beautifully moss covered tree trunk. It was such an intense green that it felt as though it was pulsating. I'm not exactly sure why I am attracted to these vivid greens in nature. I feel as though it may be because they remind me of something...that I can't put my finger on. Childhood? Dreams? Fantasy? Another life? Your guess is as good as mine.

Little Women & Friends

These doodles are from my last sketchbook, not the new one. They were done over the course of a Wednesday afternoon (during a painting critique), and the following Thursday morning (during a photography critique). I like to doodle during crits, apparently.

And this creepy little dude was on the last page.

Oskar

Very recently I saw the Swedish film Let the Right One In. It is a coming of age story about a quiet and bullied 12 year old boy named Oskar, and a '12' year old girl, Eli. Their relationship is incredibly touching, and the dialogue is sharp and quirky. Oh yeah, and Eli is a vampire, which has a tendency to complicate things a bit.

Not only is the story beautiful and somewhat disturbing, but the aesthetic of the film leaves me a little breathless. I can't even fully describe it: the palette, the location, the actors, the sound effects and music...woo. The combination is strong. I highly recommend seeing this film if you haven't already. In the meantime, here's the trailer.

In other news, a tentatively pro-markered in Oskar graces the first page of my new sketchbook. I had been working on my previous one since the beginning of March, so for a little over 7 months. It felt wonderfully satisfying to finish it yesterday. I am a slowpoke, I know, but to be fair I had put a lot of effort into it. It didn't just contain sketches, but photographs, to-do lists, calendars, class notes, personal rants, quotes, artists to check out, gallery receipts, et cetera. Which I realize should have made it fill up faster...hmm. Anyway, this new sketchbook has me excited. The pages are a subtle cream colour and it has a pocket to contain all the loose photos, flyers, and miscellaneous stuff I inevitablly end up shoving in my sketchbooks. The cover is also red. Pretty.

Anyway, today there is much to do. Then again, when is there not? Oh christmas break, how I am beginning to yearn for you.